You hate to think about it now.

Slut, she whispers. Slut.

You thought she was lying when she said it. A joke. Hilarious. You get it.

The phone hasn't beeped yet. A good person would feel bad about it. A good person wouldn't be thinking wrong one.

He was there before and after but it's the one in-between that you're waiting for.

Say no. Hold off a little. Slut's don't do that.

Would have hurt in the end. To see him giving to someone else what you gave without challenge.

Double standards, but there are rules. There should be rules.

You can't make him like you, she says. He doesn't owe you anything.

Common courtesy. Common fuckin' courtesy.

You're asking the wrong person.

Don't you get it? You lost that shot but your dignity is still yours.

She tries to tread it into the ground with her slurs and you want to know why the world hates you.

Because you're a girl, they all say. Fuck political correctness, logic, tradition.

Virgin. Whore. Girl Next Door.

No.

Nonononononononononononononononononono.

I am Beautiful. Ordinary. Sensual. Different. Brave. Dark. Capable. Lost. Sharp. Pure. Sassy. Simple. Devoted. Distant.
Bright. Hopeless. Faithful. Careless. Careful. Broken. Loved. Dirty. Naive.

Alive.